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Coconut - not just dried up flakes on butter cake

When I was a child coconut only came in the desiccated form we sprinkled on orange flavoured icing. Then Thai food became common and we began using coconut milk and cream. But when Alistair turned vegan we discovered a diverse range of coconut products: coconut yoghurt, coconut ice cream, coconut soap, coconut flour, coconut sugar and coconut oil, which Alistair buys in increasingly larger jars. By the way - for those of you with a stainless steel refrigerator a smear of coconut oil is a great way to clean the fridge and keep that new-look steel sheen.

I thought I knew every use for coconut until I came to Sri Lanka and discovered there was so much more to this fruit. They tie coconut shells on rope to make climbing ladders to climb the coconut trees and while up there they tap the syrup from the trunks which as toddy serves up a naturally alcoholic drink, or can be processed into a vinegar, similar to say a raspberry vinegar, or a treacle which is thin like maple syrup and is served up with buffalo milk yoghurt for a delicious breakfast. I just need to find a way to get a few bottles past mr quarantine man on return to Melbourne airport. And today we learned  a local company is making and exporting rope made from coconut husks.

I have to grate my coconuts in the ancient village way, and wearing a lotus leaf hat - whereas Julia has the advantage of the modern kitchen coconut grater. 

Coconut is only one of the many natural products that Sri Lanka is famous for, and today I was scrubbed down in an Ayurvedic cornucopia of natural products and I smelt like lemongrass for the rest of the day, which is not unpleasant. After more than two weeks of coconut arak cocktails, washed down with beer chasers, it was time for a detox treatment. I expected the green tea detox scrub to be a relaxing balm of warm green tea and I was unprepared for the first assault of gritty, coarse bath salt rub that was scraped across my skin. I was pounded with this fragrant rub like a t-bone being prepared for the BBQ. After the initial shock it was fantastic, but I surprised that there was so much 'tox' to 'de'. Got to lay off the arak.

Could be part of the reason I needed so much de-toxing 

Today was not my first Ayurvedic treatment since arriving, I have already been inside a steam bath, been dabbed all over with a hot herbal pummel and have had my toes 'flicked' so hard I though they would come off. I suggest the squeamish of you to not read on, but I find the best part of the massage is the bit where they release your knickers that have been rammed so far up your clacker you thought you would split in two; but sadly my last massage missed this bit as it was a 'full naked' session, and can I say how surprisingly quickly you go from uncomfortable embarrassment to couldn't-give-a-rats once the soporific effects of oil, scent and hands on skin kicks in.

Our visit to a herbal garden turned out to be an elaborate shop for Ayurvedic products and Terry felt a bit violated when he was made the guinea pig for a hair removal tonic: Cathy offered him no solace and with her usual ascerbic wit told him it would grow back.


Hair removal - before and after

We were very taken by the medicines for 'men' and the instructions to rub a particular tonic on your penis for 20 minutes to enhance erection seemed to suggest that the tonic itself may be superfluous. As Tom quipped- happy ending.

On that note bye from me for now,




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